two way street

it seems like summer is going by so slow, yet the days have rushed by. Its hard to believe ive already been done with school for almost three weeks. i miss my friends a ton and cant wait until my roommate comes here!

I realized last summer that the first summer after college would be completely different, but I couldn't really understand what it would be like.
One of my best friends I see often. At least once a week and sometimes more.
One of my other best friends from high school isnt currently here, but if she was, im not sure how much time i could be able to spend with her.
Since last year, our relationship has changed a lot and not for the better. I find her difficult to be around and I dont have any desire to be in her presence anymore.
I find it sad in lots of ways--we've spent so many years together and now, I barely want to talk to her.
My dilemma is that im not sure i dont want to hang out with her, or with the person shes become.
Since college, her attitudes have changed and ways of life.
smoking pot, drinking and popping pills while somewhat managing school work has become her life--or at least what she tells me her life is.
The other day while eating breakfast at ihop, she slipped vodka into her orange juice. Honestly, I was appalled. It was 9:00 AM in a public place and the person that drank with her was going to be driving. I obviously declined and was glad I denied their efforts to get me to the bathroom or make a  phone call so they could pour some into my drink. They knew I would be driving and understood the consequences that could happen.
Also that day, she came home high with my sister. Again, I was appalled at the audacity to come into my home high, especially because she knew my mother was there and that she gave my sister some of her weed.
Alcohol is one thing, drugs are another. I dont like drug use one bit.
When she comes home, all we can talk about is school. Nothing personal escapes her lips and I dont venture into that area either, for fear that our relationship isnt really like that anymore.
After much thought though, I realized we never really talked about anything that personal--basically skimming the surface of anything that had any meaning or thought put into it.
For some reason, i'm not really willing to put any effort into fixing our friendship. Ive put a lot into it in the last 5 years while her side has put in nothing. Friendship only works as a two way street so its hard to only have it going one way.

I wrote a poem about it that can be found here if you are interested in reading::